To us, self-help is help-self.

humanness

[Noun] A broad term that refers to the quality or state of being human.

Humaning

[Not yet in the dictionary, Verb, Continuous present tense] The act of navigating one’s moment-to-moment experience of being human.

Humanness.ing

[Not yet in the dictionary, Noun] How to human, with ease and grace, with self and with others; an in-built expertise.

Our bold dream is to make Humanness.ing a worldwide-accepted norm. We dream of a world where it is lovely and yummy just to be human. We dream of a world where we intuitively understand our human nature. We dream of a world where we are at ease because the help we need is within our reach.

We spotlight some common human experiences and share perspectives on how we human, how we unhuman, why is humaning so difficult, and what is humanness.ing.

When an idea or a word resonates with you, pause because this is an invitation to ponder and understand your inner world.

Quest Image Ponder Image
The words above or the sentiment behind them rings true for many of us. We all feel we face unique problems. And that our frustrating personal circumstances are different from others. But note. There is an underlying pattern. Our friends. Our family. Our colleagues. We are all asking this same question - Why is humaning so difficult? 
We feel bad. We feel sad. This journey of feeling pain and then yearning for relief from hurt. It seems constant. Is it just me, we wonder. No, it is not just you or just me. Hurts have no hierarchy. Mine, less than yours. Or yours, less than mine. Human messiness is alls. 
Science has debunked hurt myths. That women hurt more than men. Or that age is a factor. Or that only big hurts, hurt. Or that only the present hurt counts. Or that only if defined and expressed, does it hurt. Or that only if agreed by many, it qualifies as hurt. 
Simply summed. We all hurt. Hurt, unfortunately, has become our commonness. Which is why we all are also on a common and constant quest. To seek relief, to feel relief. So, we try. And often, we don’t find lasting relief. Then, we cope.
Coping is when we form habits that bring temporary relief. Matters don’t get solved but some relief is felt. Habits such as arguing, tantruming, silent treatmenting, drinking, smoking, medicating, masking, lying, crying, fake smiling, procrastinating, oversleeping. Essentially we fight, flee, friend, flop. To seek and feel, relief.

It is natural to wonder. Why is humaning so difficult? Why do we cope, instead of solve? 

Humanness.ing believes that most of our pain is because we human in incorrect ways. Likely, it is because we have not been taught how to human, correctly. Sure, we have folklore and religion and loved ones and college courses that we have learned from. But, if these teachings gave us the correct tools, we wouldn’t be having difficulty. Right?

The point here is not whether we agree or not. Consider these questions. Consider their answers. Do you spot the pattern?

We unhuman. More. We human. Less.

Quest Image Ponder Image

With so much pain that we experience. And our coping habits only giving us unlasting relief. We must stop and wonder. Why do we, unhuman? When, factually, we already have an in-built intuitive sense of how to human. Maybe, things can change if we talk about what it means to human, correctly.  

Humanness.ing means understanding our exact inner reality. Humans feel fully understood this way.

Human interactions, back & forth, are many. There is a high possibility for missed understandings. It makes sense then that we become experts at understanding our inner realities.

Try these interactions to get a feel of your in-built intuitive humaning sense and sensibility. Flip each card to see if you understand the human behind the human.

Pause. Ask – Based on my own observations and life experiences, does this make sense to me? Allow yourself to wonder. Then ask – If I am being honest to myself would I say? Am I an expert on understanding inner reality? How do I, human?

Humanness.ing means normalizing and commonalizing our human experiences. Humans feel fully connected and supported this way.

Human experiences of ups and downs, normal and common, is mainly from how connected and supported we are or aren’t.  It makes sense then that we become experts in normalizing and commonalizing.

One of the most everyday human experiences we have is a debate (internally or with others) over what is normal and what is common.

Hover over and tap these human experiences. We state both sides of the debate and you may notice their paradoxical reality.

Pause. Ask – Based on my own observations and life experiences, does this make sense to me? Allow yourself to wonder. Then ask – If I am being honest to myself would I say? Am I an expert in normalizing and commonalizing our experiences? How do I, human?

Would you like our summed perspective? We believe.

Humaning, like the expert that we are = humanness.ing

We, all are born with and carry an intuitive intelligence. Intelligence, that gives us a fuller understanding of our reality and of those around us. Intelligence, that unzips our minds and hearts so that we can spot possibilities. Intelligence, that leads us to our answers in a counter-intuitive, paradoxical, waywardly forward way. Intelligence, that within our constraints, thinks up a realistic best solution to our problem.

Each time we use this intelligence, we are the expert. Also. Each time we use this intelligence, we find lasting relief. We find ease.

Humannessing, then, is our choice to not tune outwards – to not vent, blame, reject, fixate on triggers, find faults or give up.

Humanness.ing, instead, is to tune inwards to the intelligence – to feel, understand, accept, own our hurts, generate options and spot solutions.

We all have our common and different ways of humannessing. Below are some of our humannessing ideas. We invite you to have your first-hand experience of it. Download one that you haven’t tried before. Pledge to take it with you to your world. Witness its magic unfold for you.

LONELINESS

Loneliness – Is it normal? Is it common?

Yes, it is. In fact, it has been declared an epidemic and recognized as a priority public health problem.

The opposite of loneliness – Is it normal? Is it common?

Yes, it is. Biologically, our hardwiring supports socializing. We have an innate capacity for concern, cooperation, and connection.

DEPRESSION

Depression – Is it normal? Is it common?

Yes, it is. In fact, it is considered the disease of modernity. It is projected that by 2030, mental health problems (particularly depression) will be the leading cause of mortality and morbidity globally.

The opposite of depression – Is it normal? Is it common?

Yes, it is. Biologically, our hardwiring supports vitality. We have an innate desire to survive and thrive.

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About Author

About Author

Ruchi is a psychologist; seeker, observer, researcher, applier, learner, and teacher of human science. Gifted with the third eye, curiosity, and trauma, it is effortless for her to tune in to the unseen and unsaid of human nature. She studies human behavior from three viewpoints – mind, body, and soul. And integrates these into paradigms that help navigate life.

As a coach, she often received feedback that her insights helped others find lasting solutions, instantly and with ease. It became the evidence and the basis of the greater good she wanted to bring. In 2021, she embraced her calling to present explicitly the very elusive, our humanness.

We, Humans®. Me, Human®. Be, Human®.

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